Coffee and Parties and Lunches, Oh My!

I was on a roll for a bit, with hosting two parties in two weeks (one was the ladies night of wine and chatting, and then we hosted a party for my husband’s law school classmates, a few of whom have some potential for the FFFE as well. The only problem there will be how to get them to hang out when they ever have any time!

In addition to the parties, I was grabbing Sunday coffees, doing mid-week biostats phone consultations with some friends, and generally living it up for a while – effortlessly doing the FFFE thing, living the goal (or trying to) of networking and meeting people on a regular basis and building relationships based on that.

But now what?by ZirconiCusso

Where has my time gone?  Where have the invites gone?  Where has the will gone to keep checking for a chance to spread my wings a bit?  And again, where has my time gone?  Work, school, an internship, some volunteer work, a house, a husband, and a dog are surely time consuming enough for two people, but before it was working out relatively well…right?

Taking Stock of the Friends Forever Friendship Endeavor

I am proud overall of my January accomplishments in terms of improving relationships, going the extra mile to get to know people, hosting parties, and just socializing in general.  But reviewing my progress since last September, it’s hard to tell if I would have been any worse off just by being my usual (less outgoing) self…I have never had trouble getting along with people, and despite all of my efforts, life just seems to be so busy at times that having regular time with friends doesn’t even seem realistic.

Maybe its the midterms, I’m-going-crazy frame of mind talking, but I feel like I will have to give myself a major reminder of why it’s worth it to work so hard at friendships if no one gets to see each other anyway!

I hope this down-in-the dumps, laissez faire attitude wears off quickly, because I do enjoy going the extra mile to hang out and build friendships – it’s just tough work.

Maybe another party is in order…


Progress on the Friendship Meter, Looking Ahead

So, I suppose I benefited quite a bit from having the opportunity to start my newest round of classes this month, with orientation, mandatory introductions, and a slew of people all trying to make new friends.

I’ve discovered that getting up the nerve to talk to people is half the battle in finding a potential friend.  There are lots of ladies I can imagine being better friends with (and of course, some with whom I have discovered I have little in common).

I’m considering the step of talking to five new people to be complete. Good news for the Friendship Meter!

Now I just have to reconnect with a few old (childhood, grade school, high school, college…) friends.  One called me a week or two ago, and for a variety of reasons, I did not pick up…It’s time to make up for hitting the “silence” button on my cell phone, even if this old friend isn’t always the keeper I wish she was.  After all, it’s not like anyone else is “blowin’ up my phone,” as they say!

Bonus: I childhood friend is getting married tomorrow.  Even though she is now much more friendly with my sister (who’s the M.O.H.), I can still see some friendship potential!  There’s also a friend I’ve been meaning to invite to my new house for a visit…  Plenty to keep me busy for more progress on the Friendship Meter – lucky me!


An Article with 50 Suggestions for Making Friends

I was looking for some extra tips on making friends, and I found this article on meeting people pretty useful!

It goes over some basic but interesting stuff, like bringing up things previously mentioned by them in conversation to ask them more about it, etc.  It’s got some good pointers, so I’m going to try a few!

Sweet Success!

So perhaps it’s cheating, but today I went to a few orientation events for the grad program I’m starting at OSU.  And, surprise surprise, I probably struck up a conversation with at least 1/2 a dozen other grad women.

I’m divided as to whether this counts or not – after all, they were all there to meet people and get to know the program, too, so we weren’t wholly disinterested parties with no need or motivation to meet each other besides being friendly.

Regardless, I met a ton of new people and started some promising relationships, so I’m counting it on the Friendship Meter!

I can definitely sense who I may like to keep getting to know (some more  so than others!) and I’m looking forward to a few opportunities to do so.

All in all, a successful day of friendly chats and promising starts.  Now for rekindling some old friendships (which can be even more awkward than starting new relationships out of the blue)!

Maybe sororities have it right after all…

I remember the first time I asked someone how much her semester sorority dues were.  The price tag dwarfed my combined semester budget for food and activities of all kinds.

I was dumbfounded.  All of that, just to belong to a group of ditsy blond fakes?

That might be a bit harsh, considering the fact that many sorority ladies are not blond, are very intelligent and successful, and are genuine to the core – but it was the stereotype I decided to maintain.  There is nothing like poverty and a teensy bit of jealousy to make for snide and unmerited critiques.  After all, I had gone to the opening night of Rush Week to check a few out, and had been pleasantly surprised with the variety of hopefuls and members, the wide range of club interests, and the overall difference between reality and the movies.  Still, on the whole, I felt considerably less fashionable and less primped than my sorority sister acquaintances.

In retrospect, I know I also felt considerably less connected, involved, and supported than my sorority-member counterparts. I had an excellent group of friends in college, but they had a wide range of interests and I met them through tons of different activities, making it difficult to get everyone together for a single event.  Dappling in different groups made for a nice variety of options overall, but perhaps too many separate groups to get really close to anyone in particular.

I used to sort of look down on people who joined sororities as a way of instantly making friends, but now I realize it wasn’t about “paying” for friends.  The number and type of activities sororities sponsor in any given month allows for tons of social time to develop close friendships with people you come to really care about.

I realize now that it was about having a network available for forming friendships, with built-in activities, volunteer opportunities, and a great excuse to spend quality time with like-minded women.  No more sorority-knocking comments will hereafter pass my lips (or keyboard).

I’m on a mission to meet new people, make new friends, and enrich my life.  No judgmental nonsense from me anymore about the best way to do that!

The Friendship Endeavor September Plan to Make Friends

So here is the plan for the first month of the Friends Forever Friendship Endeavor I will be undertaking.

September: Talk to people!

– I figure you can’t make friends if you never talk to anybody. So no more ignoring calls on my phone, smiling but avoiding conversation with people on the street or at Starbucks, and deliberately sidestepping opportunities to chat and be friendly just because I feel awkward or pressed for time.

My first month’s plan involves a true commitment to just being friendly, giving myself and others a chance to become friends.

As part of this plan, I vow to:

1. Strike up a conversation with 5 ladies out of the blue (but as naturally and normally as possible!).

2. Call three separate friends I have fallen out of touch with.

3. Go out of my way to learn something new about a co-worker (or two or three).

4. To record my successes (and inevitable failures) herein.

Wish me luck! 🙂