Finishing one project before starting another!

So I made an unpublished vow to finish my September Friendship Endeavor work before starting on October, and last night, I did!

I called two separate friends I hadn’t spoken to in far too long – one from AZ and one from PA.  The phone calls went just as I had hoped – before long we were laughing and chatting about everything we had missed in each others lives.

We played catch-up and joked and empathized and planned together.  And now, one of them is coming to visit soon!

Thankfully, I will officially be able to wrap up my September Endeavors with a full Friendship Meter. And most of all, I am happy and thankful to report (to the universe?) that procrastination didn’t pay off, but getting into gear and calling old friends did.  Oldies but goodies is the phrase, and in this case it held true. I didn’t realize how much I missed their company and small talk until I got to enjoy it again.

So here’s to friendship, and here’s to finishing the first month of the Friendship Endeavor with a lot of happiness to show for it.



September Re-cap on Making Friends

So the three goals for September were:

1. To chat with 5 new people – DONE! I’m glad to report that with starting a new degree, there were tons of people to meet, and many people were in the same boat as me (an endorsement for taking classes of any sort to meet people, I think!). Lots of potential lady friends, although I’m already starting to see that some have more potential for forever friends than others!

2. Reconnect with 3 old friends – not quite done….unfortunately.  The first attempt left a little to be desired, and even though I am still very eager to chat with a few old girlfriends, I admit I am so stretched for time that it has become a huge hurdle.  The only free time I have seems to be late at night!  Regardless, this will have to be a carry-over for October.

3. Learn something new and/or interesting about a few classmates or co-workers. I didn’t pay much homage to this topic in my posts, but I did (inadvertently) complete this one as well – DONE!  I found out that one lady I never would have expected was born and raised abroad until her early teens (very cool!).  Another lady has a child with autism and has worked everywhere from the military to a doctor’s office.  And lastly, I found out that one potential friend enjoys chocolate and wine about as much as I do.  Very promising!

Despite my shortcomings this month, I can already tell that just by making this online commitment (to myself? the universe? the blogosphere? anyone?) is pushing me to go a bit out of my comfort zone.  It is working as a constant reminder and inspiration to put the effort into making friends and meeting people.

Every time there is a break in classes or when I pass someone in the hall at work, I am starting to see it as an opportunity to meet someone new and potentially special. I am seeing the beauty in the possibility of a spontaneous, new, and lifelong friendship in the people around me, and I like it!

On to October Friends Forever Friendship Endeavor goals!


In all friendship, there is room for failure…

So just in the nick of time, I reconnected with an old friend with whom I had been out of touch for quite a while.  I was looking forward to speaking with her again, anticipating sharing our life changes and stories since the last time we’d talked.

And then I remembered why I have been so remiss in staying in touch.

Our friendship has a fatal – or at least potentially fatal – flaw.  It is unbalanced, and with each passing year it is less based on shared understanding and mutual appreciation, and more on a unilateral need to dominate the conversation at all times.

Let’s just say I’m not the one dominating the conversation, or the friendship in general.  I suppose this failing in our friendship is as much my fault as hers, but I’m not sure she even realizes the state I believe our relationship has entered.  To her, I think, things are much as they ever were.  I could be taking a big leap, here (but no one’s reading this anyway!), but I imagine to her I appear the same semi-flaky, interested but busy friend.  She is even busier, I think, but she finds the time to call and talk at least.  The problem is, she is the only one talking.

If I felt more comfortable, or closer to her, I might try to fix this uneven tendency in our relationship, but I think it has almost always been there – I just didn’t notice it as much when our time together lasted long enough for me to get a word or two in edgewise.  I should have acknowledged it and addressed it when she dampened my wedding day, but hindsight is twenty-twenty, after all…

So I feel that I may end this first month of the Friends Forever Friendship Endeavor on a sour note – a note of failure.  A sad recognition of the fact that maybe not all friendships are worth saving, rekindling, nurturing.  Maybe sometimes there are unhealthy relationships, friendships that don’t promote the growth, happiness, or well-being of either party, and these relationships are better left to fade away.  Perhaps this could be a lesson that not all friendships are intended for the “forever” status; it might be best for both of us to let it confine itself to Christmas cards and school reunions.

Despite my attempt to reconnect with this friend, I can’t help feeling like this particular experience was a bit of a failure.  At best it was a difficult lesson learned in friendship.  No progress on that measure of the Friendship Meter, it seems, but at least I have one day left…

Progress on the Friendship Meter, Looking Ahead

So, I suppose I benefited quite a bit from having the opportunity to start my newest round of classes this month, with orientation, mandatory introductions, and a slew of people all trying to make new friends.

I’ve discovered that getting up the nerve to talk to people is half the battle in finding a potential friend.  There are lots of ladies I can imagine being better friends with (and of course, some with whom I have discovered I have little in common).

I’m considering the step of talking to five new people to be complete. Good news for the Friendship Meter!

Now I just have to reconnect with a few old (childhood, grade school, high school, college…) friends.  One called me a week or two ago, and for a variety of reasons, I did not pick up…It’s time to make up for hitting the “silence” button on my cell phone, even if this old friend isn’t always the keeper I wish she was.  After all, it’s not like anyone else is “blowin’ up my phone,” as they say!

Bonus: I childhood friend is getting married tomorrow.  Even though she is now much more friendly with my sister (who’s the M.O.H.), I can still see some friendship potential!  There’s also a friend I’ve been meaning to invite to my new house for a visit…  Plenty to keep me busy for more progress on the Friendship Meter – lucky me!