A super creative blog with a super “friendly” story!

So I stumbled upon this blog when Neeks commented on my other WordPress site, and found out that with just a few words, she writes an original poem or short story – way cool!

The one I somehow managed to find right off the bat was “Best Friends For Ever!” that clearly fits with the gist of this blog. Super cute story, super fun link. Putting it on the blogroll!


The Friendship of Women

I saw a post on the book the Friendship of Womenand thought it looked like an inspiring and fitting piece of literature.  Gonna check it out!

The Friendship of Women

Check out the book!

In all friendship, there is room for failure…

So just in the nick of time, I reconnected with an old friend with whom I had been out of touch for quite a while.  I was looking forward to speaking with her again, anticipating sharing our life changes and stories since the last time we’d talked.

And then I remembered why I have been so remiss in staying in touch.

Our friendship has a fatal – or at least potentially fatal – flaw.  It is unbalanced, and with each passing year it is less based on shared understanding and mutual appreciation, and more on a unilateral need to dominate the conversation at all times.

Let’s just say I’m not the one dominating the conversation, or the friendship in general.  I suppose this failing in our friendship is as much my fault as hers, but I’m not sure she even realizes the state I believe our relationship has entered.  To her, I think, things are much as they ever were.  I could be taking a big leap, here (but no one’s reading this anyway!), but I imagine to her I appear the same semi-flaky, interested but busy friend.  She is even busier, I think, but she finds the time to call and talk at least.  The problem is, she is the only one talking.

If I felt more comfortable, or closer to her, I might try to fix this uneven tendency in our relationship, but I think it has almost always been there – I just didn’t notice it as much when our time together lasted long enough for me to get a word or two in edgewise.  I should have acknowledged it and addressed it when she dampened my wedding day, but hindsight is twenty-twenty, after all…

So I feel that I may end this first month of the Friends Forever Friendship Endeavor on a sour note – a note of failure.  A sad recognition of the fact that maybe not all friendships are worth saving, rekindling, nurturing.  Maybe sometimes there are unhealthy relationships, friendships that don’t promote the growth, happiness, or well-being of either party, and these relationships are better left to fade away.  Perhaps this could be a lesson that not all friendships are intended for the “forever” status; it might be best for both of us to let it confine itself to Christmas cards and school reunions.

Despite my attempt to reconnect with this friend, I can’t help feeling like this particular experience was a bit of a failure.  At best it was a difficult lesson learned in friendship.  No progress on that measure of the Friendship Meter, it seems, but at least I have one day left…

The Four-Part Friendship Endeavor Plan

I figure that although each month will have its own goals for making and developing true friendships, the year can also be broken into chunks.

September – November: Meeting People & Creating Friendship Opportunities

December – February: Getting into the Swing of Things & Finding Some “Regulars”

March – May: Focusing Efforts & Forming a Bond

June – August: Enriching the Friendships & Learning to Love

Of course this is subject to revision, but it at least can serve as a starting point for a year-long attempt to find, make, and keep some “forever friends!”

The science behind friendships and why they matter

As promised, I did some research into the evidence supporting the importance of friendship, and there was no shortage.  Studies have been done showing how vital strong friendships are to things like mental health, maintaining a healthy weight, staying happy, keeping an aging brain sharp, and much more.

Of course, we didn’t need research to tell us how valuable friends are.  What was interesting to read was that despite how big some people’s online social networks are, they don’t necessarily have any more close friends than others with smaller networks.

Studies show Americans have fewer close friends today – in the age of Facebook, Twitter, email, and smart phones! – than a decade or two ago.  They socialize less, discuss important life events less, engage in their community less.  Sites exist to help find old friends, make new ones, chat with random people, etc, and yet, it doesn’t seem to be working!

Research tells us that people with close friends live longer, happier lives than their lonely counterparts, but it ain’t easy to make and keep close friends.

Especially for adults, making new friends and maintaining or developing older friendships takes work (and time!).  It takes effort, putting ourselves out there, taking a personal emotional risk with the hopes of achieving a happiness and fulfillment we couldn’t have without friends.

Despite the work this is going to take, I think it’s worth it.  And I’m going to make a plan to get my own Forever Friends.

I hope you’ll join me!

I’m not the only one worried about making friends!

How many friends does it take…?.  Meet my attempt at linking to a site that is also concerned about making friends, keeping them, and reaching a level of friendly intimacy with them.  I will also add this to the blogroll.


Who needs friends anyway?

So I realized that this whole project would only be for personal satisfaction unless I could gather some tangible evidence that indeed, my mental and physical health would benefit from finding some super-duper friends.

I read about a billion magazines, and I know that this topic is featured often, although mostly in passing, but I figured I should drum up some real references to convince at least myself that I did not just imagine that friends are good for you.  (At least I hope I’m not that bad yet!)

So here goes:

Prevention Magazine – 8 Friends Every Woman Needs (and why!)

Woman’s Day Magazine – Lots of reasons to Exercise with a Lady Friend!

Glamour Magazine – 7 Friends Every Woman Needs (a different take on the types – does anybody have all 7 or 8?!)

Elle Magazine – The Importance of Friendship

Allure Magazine – Friends With Benefits (it’s not what you think!)


Anyway, this is just a smattering of what women’s magazines tell us about the importance of friends – good friends.  Although reading these types of articles may have made me more acutely aware of my utter lack of a best female friend, I think I already knew deep down that I have been missing out on something great, and that it’s time to change.

Next – to the science.  And after that – to the plan!

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