Coffees and Parties and Lunches, Oh My!


I was on a roll for a bit, with hosting two parties in two weeks (one was the ladies night of wine and chatting, and then we hosted a party for my husband’s law school classmates, a few of whom have some potential for the FFFE as well. The only problem there will be how to get them to hang out when they ever have any time!

In addition to the parties, I was grabbing Sunday coffees, doing mid-week biostats phone consultations, and generally living it up for a while – effortlessly doing the FFFE thing, living the goal (or trying to) of networking and meeting people on a regular basis and building relationships based on that.

But now what?

Busy, Busy, Busy

Where has my time gone?  Where have the invites gone?  Where has the will gone to keep checking MeetUp.com for a chance to spread my wings a bit?  And again, where has my time gone?  Work, school, an internship, some volunteer work, a house, a husband, and a dog are surely time consuming enough for two people, but before it was working out relatively well…right?

Is it too much to ask to have time for friends and everything else?

Taking Stock of the Friends Forever Friendship Endeavor

How feasible is it to have routine outings with friends when life is so hectic? I feel like this project has helped me adapt to a new city and find friends perhaps more quickly than I otherwise would have. At the same time, however, trying to plan and organize the endeavor of finding and making friends can add stress to an already overwhelming schedule.

So after all of my hemming and hawing, I want to know what you all think about undertaking a concentrated, organized effort to be active in the friendship world. Enter Quiz #1 for the FFFE.

Coffee and Parties and Lunches, Oh My!


I was on a roll for a bit, with hosting two parties in two weeks (one was the ladies night of wine and chatting, and then we hosted a party for my husband’s law school classmates, a few of whom have some potential for the FFFE as well. The only problem there will be how to get them to hang out when they ever have any time!

In addition to the parties, I was grabbing Sunday coffees, doing mid-week biostats phone consultations with some friends, and generally living it up for a while – effortlessly doing the FFFE thing, living the goal (or trying to) of networking and meeting people on a regular basis and building relationships based on that.

But now what?by ZirconiCusso

Where has my time gone?  Where have the invites gone?  Where has the will gone to keep checking MeetUp.com for a chance to spread my wings a bit?  And again, where has my time gone?  Work, school, an internship, some volunteer work, a house, a husband, and a dog are surely time consuming enough for two people, but before it was working out relatively well…right?

Taking Stock of the Friends Forever Friendship Endeavor

I am proud overall of my January accomplishments in terms of improving relationships, going the extra mile to get to know people, hosting parties, and just socializing in general.  But reviewing my progress since last September, it’s hard to tell if I would have been any worse off just by being my usual (less outgoing) self…I have never had trouble getting along with people, and despite all of my efforts, life just seems to be so busy at times that having regular time with friends doesn’t even seem realistic.

Maybe its the midterms, I’m-going-crazy frame of mind talking, but I feel like I will have to give myself a major reminder of why it’s worth it to work so hard at friendships if no one gets to see each other anyway!

I hope this down-in-the dumps, laissez faire attitude wears off quickly, because I do enjoy going the extra mile to hang out and build friendships – it’s just tough work.

Maybe another party is in order…

Busy lives leave little room for friendship?


Could it be the oldest excuse in the book?

“Sorry, I’m too busy ____”

a. hunting and gathering

b. washing my hair

c. doing chores around the house

Even when we have the opportunity to be social, to go out and make friends, to visit with people, to call on the phone and chat, why don’t we? It is so tempting to curl up on the couch with a good book or a British murder mystery on the telly and just veg out. Free time seems so rare that any chance I get to kick back and relax, even though I am unabashedly searching for friends, I can’t bear to rally myself to go out and about.

Is this laziness, anxiety, or actual exhaustion? I think I may know, but I would hate to admit it. I WILL recoup the missed friendship goals from September within the next few days (despite having class and a family member staying over and a billion house projects to do..not to mention earning a living)! And then, on to the October plan.

It just seems a bit of a shame that modern life is so busy and driven by everything except friendship sometimes. Sometimes maybe all we need is a little inspiration to make time for friends, but other times I think I need a swift kick in the butt – a harsh reminder that life doesn’t last forever, that for the most part future forever friends won’t come out of the woodwork searching for me, and that an hour tossing back drinks with a potential girlfriend will be much more rewarding at the end of the day than watching yet another re-run of Psych (even though I love that show altogether too much).

So here’s to the thought that even though life is busy, friends are busy, and everyone is stressed to the max, it is possibly even more important to make time for friends now than it would be if we had all the time in the world to piddle away. Busy or not, I’m going to make time for friends – it just might be the best way to be a good friend to myself.